Seven day work weeks were keeping this non-backpacking backpacker pretty busy these past few months and a new full time job and a new relationship have consumed the remainder of it so I do apologize for not updating as often as I’d like. On the bright side, there’s only about two regular readers so it’s not like I’m depriving a collection of people their dose of me.
Part of this entry was written since my last entry and I’m too lazy to correct the tenses. So I’ll guesstimate when I wrote it.
First weekend of November:
Things with Jason didn’t work out quite the way I wanted and I’ll get to the reasons for that in a moment. I’ve kind of been living in this bizarre world the last few weeks, doing things I typically wouldn’t such as dating four guys. That isn’t me but somehow it became me.
The night of my second date with one of the prospects, I stopped by George’s to drop off my stuff. I was planning on crashing on his couch because sleeping in his bed after a date would be weird. He offered me a drink as it was still early and as I was sitting on his couch, he told me he didn’t want me dating other people. That he wanted me for himself. I was so torn. Here I was, I had met a great guy that I had fun with, there were possibilities that Jason and I might rekindle things and George was telling me something that I had wanted to hear. Maybe not in the exact words I wanted to hear them in but he wanted me. He finally told me he wanted me. Not as a full-time girlfriend, the term turns him off but what else do you call a exclusive, monogamous relationship?
I went on my date and I ruined it myself. I didn’t mean to but I did. I returned to George’s place where he and I cuddled and fucked. I woke up the next day feeling loved.
The next week, George and I hung out and I was looking forward to the date George had planned for me. I wore a fantastic outfit, even bought a garter belt and thigh high stockings because I know how much George loves them. We had a fanastic evening of sushi and bars.
Alright, I hadn’t written that much, proof that my life has been kind of hectic. So here’s my best recollection of the past two months or so..
After the date with George was Halloween where I dressed as an awesome 80’s chick a la Flashdance. We had a gathering at George’s place and I, in my typical at home fashion, drank and passed out at 10:30. But I did wake up at 2:30 when everyone got back from the bar and continued the party. Go me!
I didn’t have the heart to cancel my date with Jason as he seemed so excited about it but I decided not to tell George that I was going. I didn’t think he’d understand that I needed time to tell Jason that it wasn’t going to work between us. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it but Jason is in the military and has debated going overseas since I first started seeing him in early 2005. Since my return, he had been indicating that he was going to go over and serve late next year. This greatly affected the prospect of us trying again as I could do it the first time not really knowing what I was getting into but a second time knowing what it’s like to be “dating the army” was getting to become out of the question.
As we were waiting for our table, I received a text message from George basically saying “Enjoy your date and thanks for lying”. I tried desparately to rach George but he refused to take my call, only texting me twice to convey how upset he was. So that night over a dinner of venison and steak, I told Jason that it wasn’t going to work and I couldn’t handle doing it all over again. I made my choice and it broke my heart into a million pieces because I hurt two people I cared about and loved. I left the evening early and made my way up to George’s place hoping that I could actually talk to him. To my surprise, he answered the door and talked to me. That move is the only reason why he continued talking to me. Jason, however, refused to speak to me ever again.
George and I try and see eachother around two days a week, made more difficult these past few weeks by hectic schedules and both of us getting sick. But things seem to be going really well. I mean, he’s moody, stubborn and scared and I’m just trying to give him the space he needs so this relationship can work. I’m head over heels and terrified because I finally have what I’ve been wanting for the past year or so.
As for work, I have an awesome new job at a software company making some decent coin but there goes my backpacking for quite awhile. Though on the bright side, I’m heading to Barcelona next month for a nice 8 day trip, not as long as I’m accustomed to but it will have to suffice.
