After glacing through previous entries, it has occured to me that I’ve never really discussed my ex Jason that much. I have my reasons for it but today I’m saying “To hell with it”.
Jason and started dating in March of 2006. He was seventeen and I was twenty. We had met through mutual friends and the internet. It sounds weird I know. We were both members of a forum board and we were regulars there. We both ended up attending a hockey game that was thrown together and that’s how we met. It was an instant attraction and we clicked right off the bat. We became that couple that could always be found together though it was usually due to us having mutual friends. We lived two hours apart by transit and always made an effort to see eachother.
After about two months together, I ended up moving out west for a job. During that time we stayed together, talking as often as we could. We seemed to have a knack for the long distance thing, something that is usually the death of most relationships. Four months into the long distance relationship, I flew home for a visit and brought Jason back with me to see where I was living.
I finally had enough of the isolation of living in the mountains at the six month mark. The pregnancy scare I had after Jason had left got me missnig home, my family and being with him. As quickly as I got home, Jason shipped out east for some of his military training. Another sex weeks apart.
We then spent the next months from December to June being together. A happy couple that loved to go out and have fun. He loved my family and they loved him. His family loved me and I loved them. It was every couples dream. I got a job in the city which led to getting an apartment in the city. I was only twenty minutes from Jason by transit and I thought that if anything it would make our relationship even better.
Unfortunatley I was wrong. Jason began pulling away. Suddenly, seeing me two days a week became difficult for him. He was decidedly busy with friends and the army. With the summer came more military training and family vacations to the cottage. The time he was home he spent with his friends, who as even he admitted, were a poor influence on him. One of his friends in particular did not like me for whatever reason and made it his mission to tell Jason that I was a controlling bitch because I wanted to see him two days a week.
As summer began to wind down, I was having serious doubts about the relationship. Try as I may, I could not get Jason to realize that we had a problem with our relationship. He refused to take us seriously and it was hurting me. We were constantly fighting and I just didn’t have any fight left in me. I had my house warming coming up and decided to refocus my energies into that.
That’s when the relationship died. The day before the housewarming, my girlfriend called to tell me she was sick and unable to help with the shopping and the food. So I did what anyone would do, I called Jason. I asked him if he would be able to help me with the groceries as I was carless and food for fourty people is a lot to carry. His response was “Why do you always call me when things go wrong?”. I told him not to worry about it and that I would find a way to get the food. Enter George to save the day. I later called Jason to ask what time he would be showing up. He asked me what time the party began, I told him and he said that he’d be there when it started.
He showed up an hour and a half late. Then, even among our friends and people that he knew, he clung to me the entire time. I was playing hostess and being suffocated by someone who has never had a problem in social situations. Around nine, I asked Jason if he was staying the night, assuming that he was. He informed me that him and his friends had made plans earlier in the week to go to Buffalo and he had forgotten about them. I reminded him that he had known about my party for a month and a half. He told me that he couldn’t cancel on the guys. I didn’t pursue the matter. I was hurt but decided that I wasn’t going to let it ruin my night. An hour later, Jason tells me that he’s heading home. More than hurt, I said goodbye. That was the last straw for me. That party was really important to me and he knew that.
Fast foward to present day. Jason and I are friends. We managed to ride out what most former couples fail at. It was hard for both of us. I still loved him when we ended it and I still do.
Last night I received a text message from Jason. He and I have hung out a few times since my return. Friday night I was in his neighbourhood and had given him a call. He told me to stop by and have a few with him and the guys. I headed over and ended up spending the evening talking to his mom and sisters which was awesome. I missed them.
Jason’s message said “We need to talk, soon.” Fearing the worst I called him to find out what was going on. We then proceeded to have a two hour conversation. He told me that he can’t handle having me as a friend. He told me that he was an idiot, that he took me for granted. He wanted another chance. The time we spent together recently had stirred up a lot of those old emotions for me as well. I had thought about it but didn’t see him wanting to try it again. And after everything with George I thought it might be best to explore new options instead.
I told Jason that the best I could do was give him the same chance I’m giving the strangers I’m going on dates with. We could try an actual date and see what happens from there. Maybe we’ll realize that we had a good run and should leave things as is, that we’re better as friends. Maybe it’ll work itself out and we’ll get back together. Who knows?
