There’s Just Something Women Like About A Pickup Man March 30, 2008

Today was moving the big furniture day. Originally, George had said he wanted us to have the truck packed by 9:30 as he wanted to hit the hills by noon. His alarm went off at 8:30, I heard him groan and turn it off. I guess he didn’t feel like waking up. I finally rolled my drunken butt out of bed around 1pm. Yes, 1pm. Here’s why:

Friday night was my last Friday living in the city. I decided to have a bit of a get together, more of an excuse for me to see people and for all of us to get drunk and party. About fifteen of us ended up going out to my usual hangout where the drinks flowed freely and the dancing was stereotypically horrid because that is how we do things. I was happy that most everyone came out that said they were because that is a rare feat for a lot of my friends. We probably took way too many pictures, drank way too much gin and tequila, and sang way too many songs as bad as we could at the top of our lungs and I loved every single moment of it. It’s nice to know that there are people out there that love you and care about you, especially when you plan on leaving for the rest of the year. It made me feel really good. I can only hope to have such a turn out for my going away party in a few weeks.

After the party started winding down around 1:30, I decided to call it a night. One more drink and I’m sure I would have been worshiping the porcelain gods and sleeping on the bathroom floor. George had told me to give him a call when I was heading home so like a moron, I did. He told me the door was unlocked and to come crawl in bed once I got in. And stupidly, I did. He rolled over when he heard me crawl into bed, wrapped his arms around me and I passed out instantly.

Fast forward back to packing. We finally had everything loaded by 3 and then we both took some time to relax and get a few things done. We left the apartment around 5 and began the hour long drive to my moms house. On the way it really hit me that this was almost it. No more going down the stairs to bug George and watch a game or cook dinner. No more random sleepovers. No more Starbucks runs.

When we arrived we were greeted by one of my brothers and the real love of my life, my dog. George stuck around for a few minutes after unloading the truck which gave me time to thank him for his help and say goodbye to him as a neighbour. It was a lot harder than I imagined it would be, considering that I’m still going to see him a few times before I go.

My brother and I have spent the rest of the night watching movies, eating Chinese and joking around. I heard from my sister so I’m going to see her in December before I come back home before setting off to where ever I may roam.

Little Boxes Made of Ticky Tacky March 28, 2008

So I’m packing up the apartment. I’ve spent maybe an hour and a half and I’m almost done. The problem? I’ve run out of boxes to out things in. So I am patiently waiting on the friend/lover, George, to get out of the shower as he said he wold take me to get more.

It’s weird. Putting all my things away and knowing that I won’t be unpacking them for a long time. It’s almost like someone died. But symbolically, I suppose I have. I’m trading in this life for a new one full of adventure and exploration.

One of my best girlfriends, Liz, is having a hard time with my leaving. And on top of that drama, she relayed a wonderful bit of news to me, that she slept with a guy, they didn’t use a condom and he may or may not have finished up in her. Now, under normal circumstances with normal people with normal relationships, this wouldn’t be the most horrible of things. The problem for Liz is that she has a boyfriend of two years. And the guy that may or may not have cum in her is not her boyfriend. When asked why Liz and he did not use a condom she informed me that they never did.

Now on some level, I have some sympathy for her. It’s a crappy situation. On the other hand, it’s a crappy situation she never should have been in. I love Liz to death. I have no problems that she likes hooking up with random guys and having some fun. What I have a problem with is that she is lying to and cheating on her boyfriend Steve. Steve is a great guy. He’s good looking, funny, smart and wants to give her the world even if his wallet doesn’t allow. I’m good friends with Steve and it kills me that she is doing this to him without his knowledge.

So now Liz is asking me what she should do. So I told her to go buy Plan B tomorrow and quit that shit with the other guy. Now, by telling her to go buy it tomorrow, I’m being selfish. I’m having a bash tonight and the last thing I want is to have her feeling like shit because she had to take one of the two pills. I’m also being selfish because it seems like every time there is something going on that puts me in the spot light, she has something happen. My birthday? She thought she was pregnant (by Steve). My going away party in January? She didn’t come because she was having issues with her boyfriend. My break up with John who I was with for 2 years? She thought she was pregnant by someone else she was cheating on Steve with. You get the picture?

I just want one night. One. But what can I do? I love the girl to death and she has been there for me. Maybe I’m just a shitty friend.

Moving and Plane Tickets March 27, 2008

I find it hard for me to pack away the life I made here. Sure, I’ve only been living in my apartment for a year but there is something inside of me that is making this hard to do. Perhaps it is just my sheer laziness and the fact that I am a huge procrastinator. Or maybe it’s because I was hoping for money to come in today and it hasn’t. And I’m using that as my excuse as to why I don’t have everything packed away. I guess that’s for tomorrow.

I’m pretty sure I’ve decided where I am taking off to for the rest of the year. But I need to meet with my adviser to see if I can make it happen. If not, plan b works just fine for me. I won’t mind surfing for the rest of the year and living on the beach.

The idiot I’m in love with is graciously helping me move on Saturday. It’s going to be hard packing away my life so quickly. Leaving him and everyone else behind, but what else can I do? I’m a backpacker who sadly can’t afford to keep her apartment and travel the rest of the year. It’s just not practical. Besides, I’m sure my roommate has found a replacement for me by now.

I really wish he had asked me to stay.

The Art of Emotions March 26, 2008

Just hung out with the friend that I was (and still am) in love with. (He’ll say we tried the whole dating thing, I say we might have a differing opinion on that. I tried the dating thing with him, he didn’t. It doesn’t seem to bother him too much that I’m leaving again, this time for the rest of the year.)

Every since I got back from my mini-adventure he’s been two different people. The Friday before St. Patrick’s Day, we went out and I had a wee bit too much to drink. I stupidly started on how he was an idiot for letting me go. And that we had something good. And then I said the worst thing I could probably say. “Do you not realize that I am still in love with you?” Yea, smart wasn’t it?

On St. Patrick’s Day we were out for a drink and I asked him what was going on. He said that I didn’t have to go for the whole year. I asked what he meant and he went silent. So Wednesday, I asked him again, telling him I didn’t want an answer right away but that we would talk Monday. While talking to him that Wednesday, I did say to pick me, that we work well together and all that stupid girl stuff that I always wish I didn’t day.

As it was Easter weekend I was visiting with my family and trying to prepare myself for the news I would hear on Monday. Knowing what his answer was going to be. Monday rolls around and we are out for a bite to eat. While sampling my appetizer, I asked for the final time in this long saga of the last six months of he and I doing the friends with benefits thing.

He looked at me and I knew. All I heard were the words “I’m sorry…” and then it was as if I had gone deaf. The thing I had prepared myself for had come to life and here I was, in a public place, trying to keep my composure. I tried to smile and be understanding while I was screaming inside my head “You idiot! Why can’t you see that we work? That we are good together?”

Since then, we’ve seen or talked to each other everyday. And this whole thing that’s gone on since that Friday I mentioned? I think we’ve had sex about 6 times. Some willpower I possess but hey, would you want to give up amazing, mind blowing sex? Didn’t think so.

So I’ll suck it up and sleep with him until I leave for my journey for the rest of the year. Because if I can’t be with him at least I’m getting something out of it.

Is it even possible? March 24, 2008

Life as a solo backpacker can get pretty lonely. You’re away from your friends and family in a foreign place, you have no permanent address, and a lack of privacy!

Sex in a bunk bed with strangers above me and beside me? Check

Sex on a beach with people 50 feet away? Check

Sex in the woods with people 20 feet away? Check

Sex in a hammock? Check

What does this all boil down to? Not so much sexual partners but the ability to have some form of relationship while living out of a backpack. Is it at all possible? Or am I just fooling myself into thinking the following:

-That I can find and meet a someone and have a great time for a few weeks

-That I can find and meet a someone that may just be the one for me

I’m all for the random hook up out of sexual necessity. I don’t think I’m being careless in my actions. But it would be so nice to find someone who shares my passion for backpacking that wants to see the world and experience new things. And is great in bed. Because that is definitely key!